For some people, Valentine’s Day is an excuse to engage in gushy displays of love and appreciation for their partner. For other people, it’s an opportunity to name a cockroach after your ex and feed it to a meerkat.
Zoos and animal organizations across the world are coming up with a bunch of rather unusual ways to exact revenge on terrible exes – and winning some Valentine’s Day publicity in the process.
Here are some of the pettiest ways to get back at your ex, just in case you were interested.
1. Name a cockroach after them
The El Paso zoo in Texas has been running a promotion called ‘Quit Bugging Me’ which allows scorned lovers to name a cockroach after their former sweethearts. The creepy creatures will then be fed to hungry meerkats and other zoo animals.
The zoo has been posting pictures of pink hearts with the selected names written inside on their Facebook page – and if you were thinking this is not something many people would buy into, you’d be wrong. The zoo said the response was so “overwhelming” that they had to cut off the submissions period. They even posted a video preview of the cockroach carnage to come.
Luckily, for those without terrible exes, they could also name the critter after a former friend or anyone else who got on their bad side.
2. Name a bear’s dinner after them
If being eaten by a meerkat doesn’t sound quite violent enough, you could always have opted for an offer from the Wildlife Images organization in Canada, which is naming pieces of salmon after exes and feeding them to massive 1,000-pound brown bears. Participants will even receive a certificate and photos of the bear “destroying their ex.” What could be more satisfying on a lonely Valentine’s Day?
Bear in mind (pardon the pun), that you will have to give the wildlife center $20 for the privilege in this case. That’s probably less than what you would have spent on your ex, so you could call it a bargain.
For the less spiteful, the center also offered a ‘Great Catch’ option, which provides a salmon to a hungry bear “in your sweetheart’s honor!” Sadly for the salmon, the outcome will be the same either way.
3. Name a venomous snake after them
Was your ex a bit of a snake? Well, this next one will be right up your alley.
An Australian zoo offered people the chance to cement their “snaky status” forever by naming one of the world’s most venomous brown snakes after them. All people needed to do was make a $1 donation, fill out a form with the name of their slimy ex and the reasons why the snake should be named after them.
If you’re looking to get in on the action here, it’s too late. The winning name was announced on Valentine’s Day and the brown snake at the zoo will henceforth be known as Kevin.
4. Have a rescue cat sh*t on their name
The Crumbs & Whiskers cat cafe in Washington D.C. had perhaps the weirdest option of all. Throughout February, guests to the cafe can donate $5 to write the name of their ex in a rescue cat’s litter box and, well, you can imagine what happens next.
Guests can choose between two animal charities and the cats doing their business will be live-streamed on Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook.
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